the marionette's
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Hello . I'm ZoePerryDa'LoveChooDeeDeeShuyi ! :D
I ♥ God . I ♥ my family . I ♥ my friends . I ♥ TDH guys . I ♥ eating . I ♥ tweeting . I ♥ freebies . I ♥ fun . I ♥ talking . I ♥ laughing . I ♥ attention . I ♥ compliments . I ♥ uniqueness . I ♥ helping others . I ♥ being pampered .
I am who I am . I am a child of God but that doesn't make me perfect .
I made a heck load of mistakes in life , but I can stand up and learn from them and move on .
I cannot change what had happened , but I can change what will happen . ;)

YOU CAN TOTALLY FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER ! ♥




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Mad apologises ! Saturday, February 27, 2010 / 12:43 PM

Sorry if my previous post has affect your mood or something ?
HAHAHAHAHA .
Alright , as I've promise I'll post about the top 10 of my likes ! :D

It'll be posted up asap .

When things gets better .

Happy TwentySix of February TwentyTen ♥ Friday, February 26, 2010 / 9:29 PM

Credits to Arhjas for edits .


Today is the 26th of February .
I jumped out of bed to only find myself waiting forever .
Seems like some nightmare .

Today is the day I was waiting for .
I couldnt sleep because I was too excited .
However only to be disappointed by the stupidest way ever .

Today I've planned for some quality time .
I dream of today as one of my happiest days .
Only to be awaken with the complete opposite .

Today cannot even be categorised under FML .
I find it just too depressing .
Not even chocolates , prayers , care from others helped .

Today is the day I cried for myself .
I havent cried over my problems for years .
Never can I comprehends this feeling .

Today is ironic .
I thought that today would be filled with joy .
But it was only filled with sadness .


I dunt know what to feel .
My emotions were so mixed up that I confused myself .
The only peace I can find is within God's presence .
Sadly that lasted me only awhile .

Until I find my way , I'll still be stuck in this never-ending nightmare .
God will make a way , where there seems to be no way ! :)


&&&
Im sorry bee for hurting you today . :'(

HELP ME / 1:35 PM

Because sometimes I cannot control my actions .
Let me be your toy , control my actions .

My likes and dislikes ! Wednesday, February 24, 2010 / 10:45 PM

Alright , today I'd like to blog about the top 10 actions I like and dislike in general .
Because I want to make things clear okay !!

Like some information you may need if you want to making me love you or pissing me off .

Little actions that I annoys me .

1. Gin / Roll eyes
I TOTALLY HATE THIS . Like talk serious , when someone or anyone gins me , MY BLOOD BOILS !!!
Im even okay if you diao or bio me , I just cannot stand it when peeps gin me .

2. Dao / Bo Ga Lan / Nonchalant
I need loads of attention . Thus , I'll get super angry if I get ignored . Especially if I made the move to be friendly towards you .

3. Rejection
My personality makes me fear rejection , therefore , if you were to reject small gestures of love(?) I show you . Gestures of love is done to everyone , not meaning affection .

4. Niamkeng rubbish
I can be a listening ear , BUT , I can get really pissed when you keep repeating some irrelevant rubbish to me ! OMG . If it makes sense and is something that is relevant to me , I'll be fine .
I think Cheryl understands this a lot . HOMO ?

5. Xiasuey / Embarrass me
I wunt explain much , loads of peeps dunt like this as well .

6. Accusation
It's worse than being misunderstood .

7. Pinch my nose
I REALLY DUNT LIKE ! Because it's just so freaking itchy and it'll make me want to sneeze and all and sometimes I'd tear and all .
It's very uncomfortable ! I really dunt like it .

8. Snapping fingers
DUNT TREAT ME LIKE SOME ENTERTAINMENT !! It's a psychological reaction okay ?!
Sometimes , it really irritates me .

9. Earning my sympathy
I hate it when you try to make me guilty when you want to get some things that you want that I dunt want to give it to you .
Then both ways I still feel bad . ARGH .

10. Whinning / Kpkb about yourself
Stop telling me how ugly or fat or simi sai you are when you're not that bad !
I ESPECIALLY HATE IT WHEN YOU WANT ME TO REPLY SOMETHING LIKE , "Ohno , you're pretty !" , it's okay for the first few times but it gets freaking irritating when you keep saying it despite me telling you that you're not !


Alright , I'll post about 10 things I like some other day when I feeeeeeel like it .
Sabai me . ♥

Let me be the one who calls you baby all the time Tuesday, February 23, 2010 / 10:11 PM

Thinking of you .


Baby Im really sorry for what Ive done to you .
Being high but still in control .
I hate myself for what I did .
In fact , I was repulsed by my actions .

But Bee I still love you .


Today I was afraid that you would hate me .
If you do , leave me and break my heart .

Uh oh uh oh ~♥ Monday, February 22, 2010 / 11:13 PM

Whut would my mama do ?


You know when songs get stuck in your head for days even week or months when it's meanings fit a stage of your life ! Am I right ? :)
I somehow just realised that , it's as if the song express you , especially love songs eh ?
Wahahaa , Im suddenly really in love w Pixie Lott !!

And currently her song ; Mama Do , fits me alot ! ♥



I know Im like super slow .
I 'fell in love' w her because of her of this cover of hers !
I freaking love her voice can !! It's a totally awesome voice .
I'd kill for her voice man ! Alright , not exactly kill .

Because I like Pixie Lott so much I'll add it to my name !
ZoePerryDa'LoveChooDeeDeeShuyiPixie ! :D
Jealous of my LOOOOOOOONNNNGGGGGGGG name ?


Anyway , sorry bee for whut I've done today .
Forgive me and please dunt take revenge !
我爱你 ! ♥


I was born to tell you I love you ♥ Saturday, February 20, 2010 / 10:46 PM

Hold onto my hand and run .



I realised Im also born to do something else .
It is to love .

I love to live and I live to love .


Everything else is saddening , I dunt know what shud I give up .
One more time .
I will leave , even if it were to hurt .
How I wished I was never brought into this place .
It's so hard to leave .

Cause Im tired .

Although I had fun playing blackjack w beer as punishment .
I still dunt like it .
It's such a grievance .


This post doesnt make any sense at all !
You've just wasted your time reading it . DUMB .

Aku cinta beebee .


Restrictions Friday, February 19, 2010 / 8:55 PM

I am gonna make it a point .
I am not happy with my performance today .
I am gonna change for the better .
I am gonna be wholly for God .

Today sucks . Maybe because Im having my periods .

I want to end , but I cannot .

Many things were said and yet undone , Im sick of this .
I want to fall back to God .
But I know until I can change what is going on , I cannot .

Ive binded myself .

Making it a point ! ♥ Thursday, February 18, 2010 / 10:58 PM

Bad Romance ; ♥ !


The fingers belonged to the same palm , why are they still fighting ?
They need each other .
THEREFORE SAY NO TO WAR !! I dunt like disputes .
Moreover , I hate peeps that sow discord on purpose .

Val said something that keep me holding on .
It was something like "If you two bth each other then can break off la , if not you want quit because everything else tells you to ?"
Everything seems to break us apart although we're ironically not together .
DUNT LAUGH , not because I your taoeh but because our mothers have hair .
Anyway , as every unintentional things try to tear us apart , there was someone that truly want to break us up !

I AM GONNA FIND YOU ASSHOLE !!
For trying to break my bee and me up in my name .

Anyway , yesterday I did wrong by skipping remedial and somewhat giving a little into temptation .
Today I forgotten about my reporting .
TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER !! BROUGHT MY TIE , DOING MY HOMEWORK .

Baby It's so hard to hold on Wednesday, February 17, 2010 / 3:48 AM

It's tough


Since I couldnt sleep , I think I shud just blog everything out .
I dunt care anymore about privacy since I dunt even get much , being under probation by law and intensive supervision of the school and my overly concerned parents .
Just find out EVERYTHING about me ! ARGH .
This might be a good training for me if I were to get famous someday ! ♥ , because billions of peeple will judge me by then .

Anyway , I've given some things some thoughts .
I think that I shud let go . I shall let my spirit take control and not my emotions .
It's not that Im gonna be heartless or whut but it's just .
I HAD IT .
I HAD IT WITH THIS SORT OF LIFE !
With everything against us , it's about time I do something about this .

The thing is , I knew these would happen . Not by detail but by the rough idea .
This has been wrong right from the start , but still I went on with it because my heart couldnt bear . My feelings were overwhelming , it took priority over the rest of my being .
Each time I slide , each time I knew but each time I do nothing about it .
It comes with a cost . That's the reason I've been feeling FML .

Like King David , he committed a sin and such grave punishments he received .
Also by his level of anointing , but heng I not like prophet all that yet la !


Battlefield will commence later .
The Lord is the stronghold of my life , who shall I be afraid ?

Lord , I need your wisdom !
I dunt want to lose you , yet I cant hold on any longer .
I will die out sooner or later .
I know ! I can draw strength from God .


Brothers and sister in Christ , help me in this .

Laughing away my negative thoughts Tuesday, February 16, 2010 / 11:29 PM

Beloved bloodline -♥ ; simple joy .


Alright , previously I was SOOOOO totally gonna post some emo rants about my so-called miserable life due to negative thoughts until I found something I needed to do .
Yes , I get distracted extremely easily that's why I never get things done .
Perhaps I got a sort of ADHD but it's in a controllable stage because Im old enough to control myself !

Anyway , I decided to search for envelopes for some reasons and then I ended looking at old photos and before I knew it , my room was in a mess .
I flipped through millions of photos and then spotted this auburn box way deep inside , at a corner of the closet . I reached for it and OMG sibei dusty can !
I bet it has been left there to collect dust since the Tang Dynasty .
(Alright I know Im exaggerating to an enormous extent but IMMA BIC BOI NOW !)
Okay , so I placed the box on my lap and imprinted on its cover were 2 cute little doves on the top left corner and gold wordings on the bottom right side that reads 'Our Wedding' . ♥ , mad loves .
I tell you I jitao at there 'OMG !!! MUMMY AND DADDY NEVER SHOW ME BEFORE !!!!'

Then I opened and flipped through and I tell you my daddy 超级无敌的帅 la ! No one can compare to him , my dad is the most handsome guy among all of my friends . I thought that my mummy was really blessed , like talk serious .
Dad totally didnt have affairs outside despite his 条件 so good , he loved all of us wholeheartedly and always have to listen to my mum's niamkengs .
From young , my superman daddy has protected me and showered me with a lot of love ! I ♥ DAD !
My mother not say not chio but her face dumb hiao la ! But she's a beautiful aunty now , very young looking and awesome mother . She went through a lot for me .
Although these few day I totally fed up w mum , talk serious . My twitter all talk about her .
Nevertheless , she's my mother and I ♥ MUM !

Back to topic ! And I flipped to a photo of my dad kissing my mum and it was super disgusting . But not as repulsive as Jacaro la ! That one is really.... Even I bo wei gong .
K , talk serious I jitao shout 'Eeeek !' then I started laughing .
I could he from dad's face that he was 害羞s . HAHAHAHAHAHA ! Mad laughs .
I really had a good laugh and it cheered me up a lot .

Seeing those photos of my parents being so loving is ironically funny because now they totally lost every bit of romance in their lives . Which is sad .
I got a feeling Im responsible for this . ;'(
SO WHEN I GROW UP I MUST SENT THEM FOR SENIOR CITIZENS HONEYMOON !!! I DUNT CARE !


Lastly , BEEBEE IS BACK ! I ♥ BEE .

I really miss my baby Monday, February 15, 2010 / 11:56 PM

This love is so restricted .
Bloody bitch why do you always have to force your wills into my life ?!
Why must you do everything on purpose to make my life miserable ?
This part of misery wunt help me at all . You fuckface .
You're starting to make me hate you all over again . I dunt know what I can honour about you now seriously .
Of all people in this world , it must be you . Why .

Anyway , I really miss my beebee .
I miss her until cry sia !! WTF IS WRONG WITH ME .
LIke what Wanyi said , I do things out of the ordinary for this sort of love .
OMG , but I want to go an extra mile for all the peepo I love .

Beebee is coming back !
Please hurry come back .

Ytd we had a movie marathon , Michelle , Wanyi , Kangjun & Darren came my house to watch District 9 and Treasure Hunters .
It's so sad that Bee cannot come when my house is open for guests ! Argh !
And her dad's car had to break down of all times , yesterday .

Everything , literally every circumstances around us is tearing us apart .
Maybe they're right . Maybe we shud just quit .
It always seem like a dream , except we always woke up .

Mirrored traumas . Sunday, February 14, 2010 / 11:12 PM

Baby has suffered a lot for me .
Mum keeps blaming her for everything .
I know how she feels totally .

I remembered I used to take the blame for everything in the past .
Because I was extremely good friends with this girl .
Then we did something wrong together .
Ever since , her dad blamed everything on me .
He accused me for everything , when she got into trouble , it must be me .
When actually I didnt do anything .

Whenever her family members sees me with her , they'll just scold me !
Or come up with some stupid story of dragging her with me or something .


That hindered me for quite some time .
It really affected me . Alot .

And years down the road , my mother actually went to do the exact same thing to Beebee .
Of all people , MY MOTHER .
My mother have to go and hurt beebee the same way my goodfriend's father hurt me .

Thanks .

Tonight Im falling and I cant get up , I need your loving hands to come and pick me up . Saturday, February 13, 2010 / 9:21 PM

I need you now .


Today is the second day beebee has been away .
I want my baby ! WARAO , wednesday hurry come !!
Im waiting for you !

I'll spent every moment with you , I'll make every second count .
I want you now bee !!!

I keep thinking of you .
I really need you now .
I miss you .


Whatever it takes .

I want to be with you Baby . / 1:45 AM

When I'm with you , I'll make every second count cause I miss you, whenever your not around
When I kiss you I still get butterflies years from now . When I'm with you ..


Baby , I want to let you know that I really miss you .
When you're back I want to make every second count .
I'm thinking of you all the time bee .

Everytime I miss you I can just look up , and know the stars are holding you , holding you , holding you tonight !


Biggest love to my baby .
I love you , I miss you , I want you , I need you !

Sister and me ! Friday, February 12, 2010 / 10:17 PM





My sister and I spamming webcam !

Alright , yesterday I learnt loads of things , and I want to thank my parents for everything they've done for me . Never giving up on me and such despite breaking their hearts over and over again !
I want to be successful to not only glorify God but also to make my parents proud ! :D

RAWR !! Somehow I know what God is doing and obviously , Im a bad child .

Ohwell , Kangjun and Michelle are both at my house now and yeahh , we're all children of God !
And the cool thing is we have loads of things in common .
HAHAHAHAHA , dumb funny , Kangjun is Arhjas' ex ! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !
OMG MAD LOVES MAD LAUGHS .

OMGOMGOMG , I SUPERSUPERSUPERSUPER MISS MY BEEBEE LAH !!!!
SHE SUPER POOR THING , HAVENT EATEN SINCE RECCESS !
AAAAAHHHH , IM WAITING FOR HER TO COME BACK !!!!!!!!!

Baby I love you I miss you .

Talking senses by 14hrs of schooling ! Wednesday, February 10, 2010 / 11:19 PM

OMG , aku nat tido !!! Tau kau ?!


Argh ! I've been attending the adamkhoo workshop for the past 2days , 7.30am - 9pm of schooling !
Which seems freakingly ridiculously . It's so energy draining !! Lethargic
I really wanted to doze off so many times but I forced myself awake .
The talks given were really good , motivating ~!!
Although there were also a number of times that I didnt really put my heart to it , cuz I haolian !
They taught about quite a number of things which I have already grabbed a better hold of in church suda ! And I already got my own source of motivation and such~

I was serious dumb haolian , I thought that I wouldnt cry , but when the trainer talked until dad's love there I jitao buey tahan at there kao ah ! Jin xiasuey... But I still tried my best to act one strong . 流血不流泪, 但是可以流鼻涕和流口水hor !
But at least I cry I cepat wipe tears and not cry like Im manifesting lah !
I think Leroy is a really good speaker , so is Candice and Andrea .

Also for the past few days , Shuyi the chiobu has been a freaking entertainment .
Like dancing in class and talking extremely random things at extremely wrong times .

Brandon bet that this motivation can only last up to a week .
I do believe in that because my own greater source of motivation is also dying .
However , THAT DOES NOT MEAN I GIVE UP SUDA !
I know I WILL fall , I WILL still feel like giving up . But of cuz , now no longer I feel like waking up without a purpose . 用不愿摆 !


Bee , aku rindurindurindu kauuuuuu today tau ?! 辛苦 sia !!

Tomorrow will be cry day .
I can prepare to cry like some songka .


And I want to change for the better .
Who am I ? A world shaker , a history maker .
I want to make my parents proud .
What do I live to do ? To love .

The Lord is my Shepard . Mad loves !

Ignoring the nags as I blog . Monday, February 8, 2010 / 10:23 PM

Albino .

I found it funny . LAUGHS .
I rmb I used to be extremely intrigued by albinos .
There was one from my primary school and I'd literally stare at her .
Yup , I would seriously stare at albinos until they show me some disturbed facial expression .
FORTUNATELY I DUNT DO THAT NOW BECAUSE I KNOW IT'S RUDE .

Anyway , I wouldnt be blogging that much about my daily life as I heard from some smart guy that information is power .
I wouldnt want too much of my personal life to be exposed to everyone since everyone can simply find out billions of things about me just by being an avid reader of my blog and also a top follower of my facebook & twitter account .
And then someday someone might use these information to hurt me .
(Actually I kena liao lor)

Nevertheless , I'll still blog bits and pieces of my life .
(This sentence is a little contradicting)
And you can simply find out by following
ME !!
Im a tweetwhore , so you'll be entertained ? Somehow..

I still need to work my way up , improving myself constantly .
Keep on keeping on . Never give up .
When Im really exhausted , I just need to try that one more time .
Domokun shared that she really wanted to give up on me , then , she just tried one more time and alas ! That try of hers touched me , like till deep in my heart .
Therefore , I know that I shudnt give up . As well as clinging on to God .


And there's only 1 thing , 2 say , 3 words , 4 you . I LOVE YOU . ♥

Get the right moves ! Sunday, February 7, 2010 / 11:44 PM

Strength .


Alright , Im posting out of duty thus this shall be short ! :D
Bear with me .

Anyway , as you guys may know I was freaking fed up yesterday .
But I rant so much to my bee I felt so much better.... But I like never spare a thought for her . ;( , I ♥ my baby .
Then I intended to 'bear grudges' and continued to be angry w them but this morning I woke up feeling happy and filled with mercies .
Grace of God ! Hallelujah .

I really feel that alot of peepo loves me .
Ooh and btw , Michelle is officially my god-sister !! ♥

& I ♥ God , Wanyi , Beebee and Mei .

Yahweh the GOD ALMIGHTY ! / 3:50 AM


MY GOD IS MIGHTY TO SAVE !!


HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD !!


Those two songs touched my heart before .
Really good songs , I reccommend .
And these are like freaking cute MV of the songs !


P.S - Christian songs doesnt mean only christians can listen !!!


Lips without words & a paralysed tongue ; Captivate by love . / 12:35 AM

Speechless .


Ive felt speechless for the past few days . Like totally bwg .
Usually , when shituations arrives , I'll still have ideas/nonsense running through my head . Like talk serious .
I'd be thinking of ways to save myself or desperately pray to God for help .

However , I recently found myself blanking out . Totally lost for words .
I opened my mouth but I cant speak , till I physically & forcefully spurt some words out of my mouth to reply some stupid questions or something .
FYI , Im a talkative person that can go babbling away forever .
Silent Zoee = ??

The first time was being totally touched by 2 friends of mine . Yanling and DOMO aka Yuwen .
They risked letting my temper blow just to help me from digging my own hole .
I was angry at the start , feeling why do they take me as an excuse if they didnt want to go shisha ?
Then , I realised , they are really my TRUE friends .
Despite drifting away from them , they desperately tried to help me . They cared and loved me .
What they did really touched me , truly , from the bottom of my heart .
I didnt know what to do , I had 2 sides . One that wanted to go shisha and totally sadden them to satisfy my desire . The other was to abandon shisha and ruin the fun plan .

Thank God for the Holy Spirit in me as the peace of God came upon me that moment .
I made the right choice and even know that so many people actually loves me .
Even my 2 closest darlings , Wanyi and Michelle are there worrying for me , desperately helping my from backstage . I can always count on them !
My sweetest beebee that constantly reminds me and be worried for me . And I love her .
Even Yaozhong , being concern , came all the way to talk to me .
The facebook comments I received when I took one simple step to try to kick my habits .
My lovely daddy and mummy also , they were so fearful they became authoritative .
All these love I get and all these self-centred-ness I've given in return .

Zoee must be less selfish and learn to think about the people around her !!

Anyway , that moment made me speechless due to me not knowing what to do .
Not even thinking of dumb solutions , uh-uh !


As for what happen today , I'm once again I was speechless .
It was like bringing my hopes so high up and smashing it into tiny pieces .
I felt terrible .
I totally wanted to give up , seriously felt like there was no point !
Then in God's presence , He showed me that when I just came to church , w406 never stopped caring for me . I made a hell lot of nuisance for them but they never gave up on me .
Weiren , Enyun , Yaozhong , Caspia , Ferlinda , Qiming , Wanyi and the rest never failed to show me support and continued to tolerate my nonsense .


Nevertheless , I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON MY FRIENDS !!!!!! Although for the following days I dunt think I can face them .
And sorry bee , I must have hurt you with my words .

I'll surrender myself to God .
Praise God for blessing me with wonderful friends in my life .

The love I recieve . Saturday, February 6, 2010 / 1:29 PM

Dear friends .
You have captivated me .
Im so happy , that so many peepo still loves me .

Jesus loves me this I know .

Clinging . Tuesday, February 2, 2010 / 10:01 PM

Can I let go ?

I feel like Im getting clingy .
I shud actually go cling to God !
Like cleaver or kisser ?

I like kisses ! :*

Actually I like it when peepo cling onto me , but of cuz not to the point where I totally suffocate !
Yes , means I dunt like it to a large extent when peepo cling on me and end up sucking my blood !

Recently Im mad about xoxo , thus , that shud be my hello & byebye greeting from now on ! That is , if Im in that hyper state .


Anyway , things happened at home .
Shudnt mention much as now Im having a happy family .
I feel like Im not myself when Im w my family , like fake one super happy or something ?
I tend to exaggerate my emotions . Drama is in my blood , just look at Oswin .

And if you've followed me on Twitter you shud know that I slept at the sickbay .
Yeah , I snored , like , SOMETHING THAT I RARELY DO !!!
Shiming was like laughing , still , she bomb me so I bomb back . SHE DROOL-ED ON THE PILLOW !

Wakaka , bee and baobei pei-ed me to reporting then slacked at vivo then got free drink from desiree .
I love them all , like seriously .
Cant wait till friday !!!! :D

I think that the 3 dragon brothers are dumb shuai .

And..
Sorry baby for being sucha nuisance today .
I am so afraid of losing you .
What has become of me ?
I need you .

Keep on keeping on .

Praise God . Monday, February 1, 2010 / 10:05 PM

I love everyone around me .
My life is awesome , because there're like so many problems coming against me !
Imagine the destiny laid out for me .

Really have to thank God for everything in life .

But seriously it's freaking painful when your dreams get smashed everytime you try .
I mean , I can literally feel my heart cracked !
Like reallyreally pain you know .

My heart pain . ;(
Like right now........