Blessed .

“ If God is for us , who can be against us . ”

None of us wanted this . Wednesday, March 31, 2010 / 2:45 AM

The fact is I am trying so bloody hell hard to forget but I just cant .
Literally the same as trying to remember someone you dunt know .
I just hope that we dunt become enemies . I am trying to resist .
Because the truth is I simply avert or runaway when I see my ex , because I cannot face them .

But this is the first time Im being dumped . Cold and breathless .

At times I hate you ttmax for being such an asshole .
At times I want you back so badly that I could die .
At times I think that my life is far better without you .
As for every other time I'll be trying and trying to smile my way through ! :D

I'll need time .
I'll need friends .
I'll need family .
I'll need support .
I'll need encouragements .
I'll need God .

God will never fail me and He is always with me .
My mummy and daddy still coax me through .
All my wonderful friends pouring in their concerns and helping hands .
THANK YOU VERY MUCH !! ♥ ; my readers too .

Zoe will let God ! Tuesday, March 30, 2010 / 2:02 PM

So I've gotta get over you .

Today I woke up , cried again .
I had a dream . (A song to sing~)

I was going shopping with w406 and some new friends .
I was having fun , playing , laughing and such . (Wunt elaborate)
Then w406 and friends came to some departmental store .
While chattering away I notice her sitting between some mannequins w that same nua look listening to her mp3 .
I walked over and sat beside her . SHIT THEN I FORGOT WHAT SHE SAID .
Anyway , I remembered I knocked down a mannequin beside her (this is out of point) , then I touched her hand and looked at her .
OKAY I REMEMBER WHAT SHE SAID (Literally as I type) . She asked if this is really what I wanted .
I keep silent , I didnt know then if I meant consent (Silence means consent) , or was I sure about it . Then I decided to kiss her , and we kissed like how we did . Not laji .
Just at that moment Weiren walked passed and I could conclude from my peripheral view that he was disgusted and *shakes head* but was nonchalant at the same time . (Sorry if I cant bring the picture out in words)
But I literally felt ashamed ! I looked down .
I was still holding onto her hand , she didnt hold back (if you know what I mean) .
When I raise my head , she had a poker face .

THEN I WAKE UP ?!

I received a message from her and then I just told her I miss her .
Then I realise this is not what I want , truly .
I mean I'll naturally feel like this because I thought I would never lose her uh .

On this day, God wants you to know...
... that it's time you let go. Yes, of course, you want to control so everything happens in just the way you want it. But at the end of the day, we control nothing, - it's all in God's hands, - has always been, and will always be. So, do what you can, and then let go, and let God handle the rest.

This is literally what happened !
I know that I should let go , and I will let go .
And today Im quite enlightened .
I have so many loved ones all around me supporting me ! So touched .

Now Im picking the pieces of my broken heart and surrendering them to God . And I mean every single piece , I really must not hold on .
And only God can heal broken hearts .
NOT ANYONE ELSE PLEASE .

And also like what Meijuan said , I'm "religious and bisexual" , which is SO IRONIC .
Okay , I dunt know why am I bisexual but you can blame me for not doing anything about it .
And being bisexual gives me experience as well .
I am not exactly that religious but I will look to God , my Saviour .

P.S , ~~I am not gonna get into another relationship until I am stable spiritually .~~ *I might get a rebound .
I will be single these few years and my next boyfriend must be someone that truly loves God too .

All because I was stupid and disobedient . Monday, March 29, 2010 / 1:55 PM

I realised that I've caused my own hurts .

Right from the beginning ,

I shud have ignored you like everyone else told me to .
I shudnt have given you the slightest chance .
I shud have continued being irritated by the sight of you .
I shudnt have given you the chance to befriend me .
I shud get just let go when I had all the chances .
I shudnt have held on to you despite the pain .
I shud have listened to the rest of the world to leave .
I shudnt have listened to you when you told me to stay .
I shud have just been heartless .
I shudnt have let my heart melt .
I shud have played with you from the start .
I shudnt have placed my entire heart into this .
I shud have left you alone to maintain the relationship .
I shudnt have even tried to protect the relationship .
I shud have given up on you a long long time ago .
I shudnt have believed in your 'love' .
I shud have known that you simply crushed on me .
I shudnt have sacrificed my life for you .
I shud have made use of you .
I shudnt have felt that this relationship would last .
I shud have tortured you since we broke up .
I shudnt be worrying about you .

I didnt .
I did .

Zoe shud be filled w hatred and wrath for vengence . But she didnt ! :)
The moment we started , I knew that we will end .
I prayed to God that whatever happens , let bee's feeling fade first .
GOD REALLY ANSWER PRAYERS .

Soon after , I hurt bee due to the stress I was receiving from my life .
I decided to give my all and I loved bee so much that the love surpassed the love I had for God .
And God is suppose to be priortised in my life .
100% love = 100% hurt .
Everything happened so sudden .
Zoe is sad . Zoe is angry . But Zoe dunt blame .
I know hating you wunt end my misery , although it helps .

Btw school is the WORST place to be in currently . Literally the WORST !!

Zoe is gonna delete delete delete !! No suicidal thoughts please .
Not my will but Yours be done !
Let me decrease and You increase !
In whatever ways , let Your Name be glorified .
I come empty handed . Like a shipwreck .
Change me God . Teach me to forgive to forget and love instead of hate .

I will really let go and let God .

P.S , This post is fully factual . No stretched truth like how I usually blog . Sorry if it's boring .

Moving On . Sunday, March 28, 2010 / 10:12 PM

Even worse , someone you gave up your life for .

Yes , it's truly hard to move on . However , this does not mean that Zoe will wallow at the same place right ? :)

Time heals wounds . (YESARH OVER TIME MY HURTS WILL BE GONE !! :D)
But scars remain.. However , scars do not hurt .
And the scars are the memories of the entire incident , through these tribulations you have learnt and moved on makes you even stronger and in fact , you'll be able to help the people who are going through what you've been through ! HO EH ?

My previous previous post made moving on sound so easy !
True , to a certain extent ? (SEQ fail liao)
Moving on is simple , it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult .
Zoe buey sai pangseh yi eh xim ! :'(

But I know and I know , it'll all be over soon .

“Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.”
I saw this quote on someone's phone . Sheesh , I want to change it .
Love began when someone made me feel so important then grew with many hugs and kisses and sacrifices , and ends with a storm . Blizzards , floods , a total tragedy .

Today , after I saw a priceless smile and a touch on my head I ~~never cry already~~ , *still cried .
But it still hurts.....

I MUST BE DEPENDANT ON GOD ! ♥

My little pony . Saturday, March 27, 2010 / 9:49 PM

爱太痛 .

Zoe was wandering happily around a forest , a beautiful pony came by .
The pony wanted to be tamed , so Zoe tamed it .
It followed Zoe around , even to places where the pony wouldnt go .
Soon enough , Zoe accepted the pony and loved and cared for it .

Zoe gave everything she had to the pony .
She left her family and friends and everything else she had loved for this pony .
Life was really tough for Zoe , but she kept holding on because the pony was her most priceless possession .
And she grew her love for it a lot .
Pony was the most important thing in her life .
So important Zoe could die for it .

Zoe enjoyed times like riding on pony's back .
Knowing that pony was happy , Zoe never felt better .

One day , Zoe took out her knife and started sharpening it .
The pony saw it and got scare , thus , it ran away .
Zoe placed the knife in her pocket and started searching frantically for her pony .
However , the pony thought that Zoe was out to kill it .

Zoe cried days and nights for her missing pony .
Then she realised her knife scare her pony away .
She was heartbroken .

If only the pony knew Zoe had that knife with her all along .

SAY NO . TO EMO ! :) Friday, March 26, 2010 / 4:49 PM

Note : The start of this video might be a little explicit . Still watch to the end !
This video packs a punch ! :D

I totally agree to the video . This is how it feels , exactly .
So true right ? I know you agree .
The entire idea summarised within 2min ! Mad loves .

People all around the world will have no doubt experience heartaches .
You either break hearts or get your heart broken .
At that moment , yes , you just simply want to die because the pain is just too excruciating for you to handle . Simply FML .
Now I experience the pain of having someone you love with all of your heart to get afraid of you and leave you . And Im confused after that as well .

Indeed I was in extreme pain , total agony and somber .
All I could do was cry my heart out . Flounder .
It was simply perverted , as much pain as I felt when I was sent into Girls Home out of a sudden without saying a proper goodbye to my parents and knowing for a fact I cant get to see them for long and being in a dormitory filled with unfamiliar inked ahlians and minahs .
Only this heartache is worse , it kept me awake .

Braced myself for school , standing under the shower head rocked ! It was slightly comforting .

I knew I couldnt just keep crying and crying and crying and wallow over a small setback I face .
Trials and tribulations are all part and parcel of life to make me stronger !
God doesnt waste a hurt ! I can learn from shituation .
ZOE WILL MOVE ON IN LIFE !!! ♥

Of course , it's not easy . In fact , how can it ever be easy !! :)
Trying to smile , cheering yourself up sure takes up some effort but all you need is just to change your mindset and attitude towards your problem .
Like instead of God , my problem is so big . Say , problem , I HAVE A BIG GOD .
And did you know , it's actually a choice to think positive or negative ?

Im still in the midst of everything right now .
Though Im struggling , I know this is not the end of my life .
WHO AM I ? ZOE . I live to love , there is no obstacle I cant handle as through God nothing is impossible .

SAY NO TO EMO ! The behaviour not the look , I ♥ red , black and white too .

And thanks to Inks&Rings' encouraging tag , I have found a great purpose for my blog .
Like seriously , A GUIDE TO LIFE . Hahahaha .

Be my ex ? YOU REPULSIVE PIECE OF PAPER♥ Wednesday, March 24, 2010 / 9:52 PM

Cause you asked for it ♥

I was chatting w my old buddy Emily aka MAYKUAO !
Madly miss her okay ?
And I just realised for a fact that she also feels the same way as me !!
That is the topic about our ex .

Somehow , we both agreed that we can never befriend our ex .
I get this really disgusted feeling when I see my ex , I always hope that I'd never see them .
They give me some really disgusting feeling . I dunt like , hate them but simply , detest the sight of them . Like why must they survive on this planet !! (I know zekarh but sometimes things like just like this)
But yeah , it's something like that , in agreement to Emily !

I thought that our love story ended , like , come'on it's been so many months !
But somehow , things are never the same once you had actually been into the relationship .
Well , it does for me .
I've tried actually , being friendly to them .
Unfortunately , I end up adding more disgust to the repulsive impression I have of them .
Sometimes I like torturing them , I dunt feel anything .
In fact , breaking their hearts make me feel gooooooooooood ! When Im no longer in love w them , obviously .

That is of course if they had done something that made me want to break up w them .

I do admire those people that can actually go back to being friends w their ex as if nothing had happened !
I mean , dunt you actually see them in a different light ?!

*edited - Just realised my post actually scared someone away . ZOMG ? *rolleyes*

Im only gonna breakbreak your breakbreak your heart ! :)

Tumblr ? Blogspot ? Onsugar ? Livejournal ? Xanga ? Wordpress ? Monday, March 22, 2010 / 10:54 PM

Self-explanatory .

That stupid Meijuan is making me want to join Tumblr !! D:
And seriously it seems good . All the fuckyeah tumblrs .

BUT NO .

Tiongxim never die ah ! Pua buey toh all !
I think I will tiongxim blogger to the end lor .
This is because I can see my life change here in blogger !

Noo..
Im not saying the blogger changed my life but this is like my sub-conscious diary although now I wunt reveal too much of my life anymore .
But still I reveal about my life to such an extent that it is considered too much information .

Information , IS A DEADLY WEAPON .
Like talk serious .

Mann...
Im mad missing someone now and I havent slept for the past 33hours and Im still not tired .
No , I am not alien but simply special .

If you know me , I am mad . ;)

Thinking dirty / 5:26 AM

You sick in the mind !! Hahahahaa .
All the assumptions and such , this is mad genius .
Loved it .

Short Films . Sunday, March 21, 2010 / 10:58 PM

Recently , I've been watching quite a number of short films .
MAN !! I'm like loving short films all of a sudden !
YOU PEEPS SHUD WATCH IT . You know why ?
Firstly , it's not like a movie , where you have to sit down for hours !
Secondly , it's not like dramas , where you have to keep chasing for it .
Lastly , short films only take up less than 30mins of your time , and you can play w your own emotions for that few minutes . Sad , happy , suspense , etc..

(All about time).......

A short film I'd like to share.. It's called Lovefield .

This film is done by Mathieu Ratthe and this is one of the many films that captured so many of my emotions at once within that few minutes span ! :O
Awesome piece of work .

Final question , how far will you go for love ?

Melancholy ♥ Saturday, March 20, 2010 / 12:08 AM

Hey my beautiful people . I love you because you're reading my blog . I love my readers .

Recently , things has been really depressing for me .

I am in a very somber mood nowadays .

The reason why , I dunt really know .

I dunt know why I just feel so extremely sad .

Everything around me feels so grey . Lackluster .

I am poker-faced . Literally .

Ohman , wallowing is for losers .

Im such a loser now , simply pathetic .

SO NOW I MUST BE STRONG .

BLOODY IDIOT LIKE SOME CRY BABY .

EVERYTIME CRY AND CRY . WTF .

NO MORE CRYING FOR ZOE !

But I hope you know , my tears flows for you . Knowing that I am so useless .

Attention seeker ! Friday, March 19, 2010 / 12:36 AM

GIVE ME YOUR LOVE YOUR CARE YOUR GIFTS YOUR HUGS YOUR KISSES YOUR EVERYTHING !
That's what I want .
But all I need is YOU .

Giving that look Wednesday, March 17, 2010 / 2:44 PM

STARE !

Did you ever have times when people look at you with those eyes as if you committed a grave offence or as if you're some pathetic outcast in society ?
I DID ! (I may sound zealous but this is just me , Im not proud to be look down)
I'm ZEALOUS ZOE . ♥

Btw , I named my Blackberry Curve - BEEBEE(BB) .
So next time when I say "I LOVE MY BEEBEE !!" I dunt mean Arhjas I mean my phone hor !
:x , oooops , but bee I love you more ! ♥

Anyway , at times when you're in public or something , you'll get super bored or something and you happen to forget your earpiece , thus , you'll blast music , but not really loud to the extend that it's seriously attention seeking .
I hate it , especially aunties , they like to give you that look that your music is damaging their lives ?
PLEASE ! My genre of music is not like death metal or techno , it's pop thus happy or sad and soothes the soul okay !? ♥

Another time is..
I get very stress when I do not have enough $$ to pay for the things that I buy .
Like standing there digging for my coins and such and the cashier just staring at you , waiting.. OMG , that's like immense pressure .
You know this feeling , like the world is staring at you and thinking that you're super poor such .
I have nothing against poor people or even being poor , I mean , it's some pychological self-made stress .

It has all got to do with the mind . ;D

There are loads of looks that I dunt like , disappointed-in-me look , not-happy-w-me look , want-tio-my-daiji look and the perveted look .

That's about it .
Wunt be blogging about my life today , it's not good .
Im a sad attention seeking whore .

♥

What's yours is yours ! :) Tuesday, March 16, 2010 / 3:05 AM

Dumb burglar .

Today I'd like to talk about STEALING , SHOPLIFTING , THEFT , or whatever you call it .
You know , there's such thing as karma ?
I know I know , karma is suppose to be like some buddhism thing and Im a christian and such but that another story altogether !

So today after an awesome and dynamic youth meeting , Wanyi and I were chatting as usual at the back of the car .
I dunt know how but we got to the topic on stealing then karma or karma then stealing .
Either way ! They both work hand in hand .
Anyway , I shared my experience that I had to pay for whatever I had stolen .
In fact I had to pay back in multiplication method , in some ways .

The similar experience on my two children , Junyang and Shiming .
OMG , a family of thieves ! :'( , thankfully we all dunt steal now although temptations still comes by at times .
We all tend to lose things when we steal . So far I lost nearly all the items that I've stolen and wasted a lot of $ for idk what , literally throwing away money .
Erzi stole some things and lost his $500+ phone .
Nuer also lose a lot of things and have loads more $ problems .

Anyway , we wunt feel good . As one with dirty hands .

Call it fun and exciting or out of saving that amount of $ .
I'd never felt happier saving it the slow and tedious way and ultimately sowing it .
And also , sowing your finances enables you to get back in multiplication method as well !
Be wise .

Thou shall not steal ! :D , you see ! Must follow the bible .
Basic
Information
Before
Leaving
Earth

What belongs to you , will be yours .
This applies to all possessions in this world . I suppose ?

I must shine for God !!!

Like a bird Sunday, March 14, 2010 / 11:29 PM

My beautiful bird . Baby .

A beautiful blue bird flew into my window one day .
The bird has such melodious voice , soft feathers and it was so beautifully coloured .
That bird was so mesmerising , it drew my attention .
I was so captivated , I wanted it .
Thus , I caught it and placed it in my heart .
I had fallen in love with it .

For some reasons , the bird didnt mind being captured , it enjoyed my presence .
Then I knew , this little bird loved me back .

I named it Baby . For it was frail like a baby .
I was happy taking care of it .
Mum and dad didnt like the idea of an annoying bird chirping all day because they thought that it would be a hindrance to my studies .
However , I held on and protested to keep it .

They wanted to snatch my Baby away from me .
Also , it was my my most precious possession .

I wanted to elapse with Baby .
But after all the perseverance and such , we made it through .
People accepted that I must have this little blue bird by my side .

I showered Baby with loads of care and love !
Bought it new things to play and such .
But soon things changed as the bird got too comfortable .
Baby had decided to poop and pee all over the works I've made or done .
Thus , getting on my nerves time and time again .
And each time it angers me , each time I pluck its delicate feather .

As I gazed out of my window at the vast open skies .
Friends of Baby flew past freely , singing happily . I sensed that Baby wanted to be with them .
By faith I set it free , knowing that it would still come back to me .

It flew away but hasnt came back .

Have I wasted my time ?
I felt as if the bird had crushed my heart with its invisible hands .

Alright I wrote this and it's not based on any recounts or such .
I just suddenly got inspiration for this ! :D

Would you smother me ? Saturday, March 13, 2010 / 11:02 PM

Too cruel for tears .

Actually , I have no inspiration or whatsoever to blog today .
Thus , I shall continue to blog about my BB curve !! :D
My freaking awesome and freaking favourite phone , JUST LOOK AT IT .
It's so attention-seeking due to it's G-mask and its model the same as Yufen and Weiren ! Spiritual leaders !! WOOOHOOOOO !
But , Im also attracting unwanted attention from itchy hands .

Just want to say , GET A BB NOW !
The only thing is Im still having problems w the letter B , ? and ! on my keypad .
Next is the bluetooth , I AM HAVING PROBLEMS WITH IT !!
Lastly , the battery dies out fast for a hardcore techwhore like me who constantly needs to update on life's every little moments virtually and finds extremely joy in using my BB every minute .
I find delight simply by using my BB and also admiring it by staring at it .

P.S - I REALLY NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT AND SAVE $$ ! ALERT !

Monday - Shopping then #MM w/ Cheryl , anyone wants to come along ?! Then youth meeting till midnight ! :D
Tuesday - Sheesha & shopping w/ Meijuan and Diana !! SEX TALK !
Wednesday - Freee .
Thursday - Freeeeee .
Friday - Swimming then bakuteh w Wanyi ! Freeze Flash mob at Causeway point !
*The FUN things starts w the letter 'S' !

I cannot adjust my entire life to fit yours . No , Im impotent .
Do whutchu say .

Either way , we cry .

Typical life of disobedience Thursday, March 11, 2010 / 10:15 PM

Today is quite a horrible day .
I feel smelly and dirty , I was disappointed and accused , I receive devastating results.. etc..
Summarised , I felt so disgusting today !

My BB was the thing that kept my happy today but my mum just confiscated it !
MAD HATES !! :(

Anyway , I just came across this statement !
LOVE CHANGES EVERYTHING . Would that include your religion ? - CLEO magazine .
For me , I dunt think I'll ever want to convert my religion although love conquers all and changes everything ?
Thankfully , Christianity is a relationship and not a religion !
The love of God conquers all , but at times , being in this imperfect world , it's hard .
Especially if you've found someone you reallyreally love on earth .

For me..
I dunt think I shud even start on the topic religion when I cant even get past straight .

I must learn how to discipline myself and obey !
ARGH !!

SHUT UP ! Tuesday, March 9, 2010 / 9:25 PM

Shuddup devil !

TODAY I SHALL BE BLOGGING ABOUT SHUT UP !!!
Because I just told my bee to shut up !
OMG RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT WHEN IM BLOGGING I FELT A SHARP PAIN IN MY HEAD !
Alright , despite having this headache , I SHALL CONTINUE TO BLOG !

ARGH !!!!
MY HEADACHE IS A PAIN IN THE HEAD ! :'(

Ever wanted to tell some voice to shut up ?
NOPE , Im not talking about that irritating sibling of yours that keeps babbling about their irrelevant and totally insignificant complains(nah , not exactly oswin) , neither am I talking about your parents nagging you over insignificant mistakes you made .
I am talking about the bloody irritating voice in your head ! The temptation .
This idiotic voice that tells you that it's okay to do the bad things ! The voice that tempts you to do things that aint right !

DUNT YOU HOPE THAT YOU CAN TELL THE VOICE TO SHUT UP ?!
Then you wunt fall into temptation !!! :)

And I realised the more you try to resist , the louder the voice gets !
It's like feeding on the temptation or something like that..
But if you muster up all of your motivation and strength , and tell the voice to SHUT UP and not fall , WOW !
IT'S WOW !!!! Like praise God ! :D
However the procedure is like.... TORTUROUS ! :(

I need God's strength to overcome these temptations !
AND OMG , I got reminded that God wunt give me temptations that are too great for me to handle !!!! AAAHHHHHH !!!
STOP ZOE STOP !

START SHOUTING YOUR SHUDDUPS TODAY !!!!

Lastly , I want to dedicate my love for my beebee ! ♥
Aku cinta kau sangat2 ! Muacks !

Casual post on BLACKBERRY ! Monday, March 8, 2010 / 11:42 PM

Before going to sleep I thought to myself that I shud keep up w my blogging habits !

Thus , it's so casual I'd blog that... I GOT A BB CURVE !!
Jealous anot har ! YOU JEALOUS ?!!
Im starting to master the qwerty keypad which was freaking irritating at the start !
And Im totally waiting for my internet thingy to start , Im still a BB newbie .
GUIDE ME LEH PEEPS !! Those BB family , STORM , BOLD all .

After I bought it I thought that it's catered for business uses but then again the functions can not only be used for career but so many better things like using it in class(meeting) , updating my status , etc...
Im still fascinated because I havent found out the functions yet , so it's yet to impress me !

Somehow I think I psycho-ed bee to get a BB as well .
And I felt bad when she quarrelled w her dad over buying her new phone shituation .
Then again bee avenged on me in a horrible way . I bueygeyyan lahhh !!! :'(

I need God in my life ! :(
I WANT TO BEAR FRUITS !!!!!

It's all about the hair ! Sunday, March 7, 2010 / 11:18 PM

Mad chio . ♥♥

OMG she is so freaking chio !!
Im freaking jealous of her . Like seriously .
Ahhhhh.. I like her hair .

Yeahh .
Today I'd blogging about hair as inspired by xx and meijuann uh !
I totally agreed w xiaxue's hair conspiracy thingy .
No one will wanna f- you if you have ugly hair..

H A I R , is super important !
Your hairstyle can make you look pretty , tough , nerd , etc..
It must go with your overall image !
It is so important that NS guys can cry , because the only thing that made them good looking was their hair , they'd spent hundreds on it .
The TAO MOH , can change your life !!!! Like serious .

Anyway , back to the point , wait , I havent even got to the point !!
Alright , I agreed on the conspiracy with that trimming myth .
It took me 5 years to realise that my hair couldnt grow any longer because I kept trimming it ! Im like , super dumb but not blonde .
I thought that since my hair has always ended around slightly above the shoulders , IT'LL BE LIKE THIS FOREVER .
Recently , I noticed that my hair DID get longer !
Which is like , WHAAAAA !!! Miracle ! Praise God !! ♥

Now that my hair has reached a new stage of it's 'life' , I SHALL ALTER IT !
I want to change my bowl hairstyle , maybe into an asian mullet !
Or shud I put extensions , no , not from far east but the one meijuann recommended ?
Maybe I shud try Hongki's hairstyle but w/o that extra thing at the side .
How about the Girls Home 2.4 hairstyle......

I thought of buying a wig , but it's ridiculously $70 and I might stink up my scalp all .

Im gonna double dye my hair jet black ! :DD , or blue-black ?
And , I ♥ my bee !
I love her hair now , it looks nice and way better than from the past .
Kiu moh FTW !! I LOVE MY BABY JAS .

FYI , I do like kui mohs but I will NEVER curl my hair .
And ironically I still laugh at afros ! But I like afros too .

AND THE NEW CHURCH BUILDING WILL BE AT SUNTEC !!!!!! ♥♥♥

Rollercoaster ! / 2:19 PM

Smile ! :)

Realised that I was down ttmax when I blogged previously .
I totally wanted to end everything , but now.. HAPPY AS A LARK AH !!
That moment , we were both crying .
After I drew some ugly to express myself , which turned out as a joke , we both laugh it off as if nothing happened .
Within minutes I was 'happily in love' again !

OMG , seriously , what happened was like a rollercoaster !

Stop zoe STOP !!
Im getting all the psychos .
Mad hates .

Not happy ! When things dunt go right .

Dunt bother reading this , it'll waste your time . It's just me blogging my bloody emotions . Saturday, March 6, 2010 / 9:15 PM

hucm os sturh tusj tI
sselerac ssel d'I dehsiw I semitemoS
od I nac tahw , uoy rof nellaf ev'I woN
hcum oot uoy evol I sseug I
uoy egnahc nac I fi sa ton s'ti , hguone dias ev'I
uoy lliw tub , em rof eganhc d'uoy epoh I

Saya tak kesah already uh ! 很辛苦 .
Kau selalu macam gito , tak kesah aku.. Macam kamu tak sayang aku la !
Aku magook sia . Aku menangis kau tau ?
Ini cinta menyakitkan !! :'(
Macam bodoh uh aku .

我不懂我也不管了
我觉得我做什么都会伤害到你
我真的很自私我也太蠢了
是我自己想太多了我也已经尝试不要去想了
但是你还是不停地在我的脑海中跑来跑去
这真的很痛苦啊！

This is so sad . So very sad .

Measuring love literally / 12:46 PM

Speechless once again ?

I recently just contradicted myself .
I blogged about measuring love , just right after I realised again , it cannot be measured . Like literally .
Overall the greatest love is of cuz , the love of our Heavenly Father .
Im glad my Daddy God loves me so much .

After a few shituations , I wonder , HOW TO MEASURE LAH !!
Im like rather retarded , logically speaking , you'd need like a ruler to measure ?
Or some equipment if not given numbers and then solve it using like trigo or wdv .
WARAO , I gekiang , step one genius then end up like this.. Geypalan 的下场 !
It's the same as taking a maths test w/o writing material , calculator or ruler all .
Stared at the questions and thinkthinkthink but at last , Im still unable to produce an answer .

Im still foolish . Stupid .
I shud be humble and continue to hunger for more wisdom !
Seriously , I find it pathetic to perish due to the lack of knowledge .
ProverbsProverbsProverbsProverbs !!

Finally , baby , Im speechless as well .
I dunt need words , I need actions .

Selfishness Friday, March 5, 2010 / 9:43 PM

I am selfish , stubborn , fickled-minded , short-tempered , sensitive .
SUCKSUCKFUCKSUCKSUCK my life .

This is me . You got a problem ? You simply f- off from me .
The above are truly facts , yes , I AM LIKE THIS .
Today I think too much I suppose , till Im having a freaking horrible headache now .

But I so wanted to rant , thus , I shall blog it out .

This week is a disaster once again .
I hope I'd get happier in church tomorrow , knowing that fact that tomorrow they shall reveal the new building's location cheers me up .

And guess what .
Im a weakling , I cannot do things by my strength .
One day I let go that's it , that'll be the time when I totally die out .
Im just asking for a little , I beg you to give it to me .

I AM TIRED .
Jitao kun liao lah BYE .

The measure of LOVE ♥ Thursday, March 4, 2010 / 8:30 PM

Looking at L O V E ♥

My previous post made me arrived to this question .
HOW DO YOU MEASURE LOVE ?
This question brought along other questions like measuring life or man or etc..
But we'll come to that some other day . Perhaps ?
And FYI , Im not exactly a mathematical person or someone that thinks logically .
You know me.............DeeDee?

Right now let's look at love !
Suddenly need tackle so many questions can kisiao ah !!

Love is an awesome thing , I doubt I can define it . In fact I dunt think much people can define it uh .
However it IS quite well explained in the Bible .
GOD IS LOVE ! And many more examples .
And one of the greatest love verse is John 3:16 , the famous one .
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life .
Jesus was the ultimate SACRIFICE !!

And I find , love can somehow be measured by how much you sacrifice for your loved ones .
Not by how much you do , how skillful are you in winning the heart and such , but by how much you're willing to give up !
Your life ? Your friends ? Your time ? Your money ?

But still , think carefully before giving up some things like your body ? And such , be wise !

I feel like Im a genius , but actually , I act smart with this post only lor .
To be a smart aleck .

There's YOU and ME ! ♥ Tuesday, March 2, 2010 / 10:37 PM

Lovebite .

I love you baby .
I doubt I would let you go , even if circumstances tells me so .
Comparisons done , baby you're still the best !
You're the apple of my eye .

I LOVE YOU BEE !!

My precious lil baby , I guess I loved you too much .
Im glad you love me back .
I hope I can measure love , so we can compare or balance it !

I'd literally rewind memories everyday and smile to myself .

Everytime you skip school , I'd be really sad in school .
Despite friends around , I ONLY WANT YOU !!!

I was borned to tell you I love you .

My top 10 likes ! ♥ Monday, March 1, 2010 / 9:38 PM

Alright ! Today 本小姐 is in a good mood , thus , it's about time for me to blog about my top 10 likes !
HIPHIPHOORAY !!! :D
Three cheers and three cheers and three cheers for ZOEPERRYDA'LOVECHOODEEDEESHUYIPIXIE !

I've never felt happier after being filled w the Holy Spirit once again !
THE BEST FEELING EVER !!!! ♥ , I never want to lose it .

TOP 10 ACTIONS I LIKE !

1. PHYSICAL TOUCH !
HAHAHAHAHA , I know it sounds awkward but yeah . The top 5 love language I'd like uh .
This means I love hugs and kisses . Simple pat on the head . Putting your arms around my shoulder . Ruffle my hair , Pinching my cheeks and such .
*Draws line* - DOESNT MEAN I LIKE TO BE MOLESTED , EXCLUDES NOSE & ALSO NOT TOO CLINGY .

2. Presents !
I SUPER LOVE GIFTS OKAY !!! I love to receive gifts and sorts , of cuz is nice and cute ones . Because useless and ugly gifts makes me excited for awhile only , few days later I'll 烦恼 on what to do w it !
STILL !!! I LOVE TO GET PRESENTS ! ♥♥

3. Treat me like QUEEN !
KEEP TELLING ME YOU LOVE ME !
KEEP AFFIRMING ME THAT I ROCK , IM CUTE , IM SMART OR WDV !
KEEP TREATING ME LIKE IM THE LAST GIRL ON EARTH !
I like to be in the limelight and treated importantly . ♥
So whut if Im being a bitch ? :)

4. Entertainment !
Keep on entertaining and impressing me . Jokes ? Tricks ? Muscles ? Talents ? Music ?
IT MAKES ME HAPPY AND MAKES ME LIKE YOU MORE !! Be spontaneous .

5. 有福同享 , sharing !
SHARE w ME !!!! Hints and tips ! Like you found a new mask ? SHARE !!
EVERYTHING MUST SHARE WITH ME OKAY !!?! ♥
Except irrelevant things that would soon turn into an irritant .

6. Thinking about me !
The things that you do for me is not in favour but it is right .
THAT'S THE ULTIMATE !! Peeps that do these are usually my true friends or family members .
I CAN SEE . If actually your actions have motives or is hidden w a thought for me .
Im not so smart but sometimes these things still can see one !!

7. Flirtwise !
HAHAHAHAHA . Okay , I get really extremely attracted to smart as well as flirtatious people .
I like flirty conversations , because it's always fun ! BUT NOT ALL THE TIME .
And bear in mind that you must learn to 'flirt' in a smart way to 'attract' me(?) , and not end up cheesy and disgusting . Being a major turn-off is like an ex-convict , the mark is there !
And I'd like to make it clear this dunt mean I like to flirt but I like flirtatious talks .
OMG , I think this will confuse peeps .

I find the worst way to flirt is the ahbeng way . I'll talk about it some other time .
Ahbengs/ahlians/paikia(SG) are the stupidest people on earth , TALK SERIOUS .

8. COOKING !!
I LOVE TO EAT !!! Cooking for me is one of the best way to 'win' me !
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ! I like advertising myself but anyway , I'll just get really touch if peeps cook for me .
So I thank God for grandma , mummy and daddy who cooks for me !! ♥

9. Handmade gifts .
Idk if I can count myself as sentimental ? BUT , I reallyreallyreally appreciate gifts that are personally made instead of bought ! Unless they're super expensive... But that's another story .
Purely writing letters is the loves lur ! w406 does these ! ♥
And I'll keep re-reading letters that peeps wrote to me , because I can feeeeeeel them .

10. LOVE ME .
I LIKE PEOPLE THAT LOVES ME . ♥♥♥♥
I love God , my bee , daddy , mummy , wanyi , michelle , oswin !
Still got darren , yanling , domo , enyun , yaozhong , caspia , fiona , blahblah !

That's about it .
I started blogging and now Im left w no time to study !
AND I REALISED I ATE TOO MUCH FOR SUPPER !!!
Now I bueysong again . Humpf .

But my God reigns , He'll love me even if Im duabuisiaozhabor !! :p