“ If God is for us , who can be against us . ”
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Lips without words & a paralysed tongue ; Captivate by love .
Sunday, February 7, 2010 / 12:35 AM
Speechless .
Ive felt speechless for the past few days . Like totally bwg .
Usually , when shituations arrives , I'll still have ideas/nonsense running through my head . Like talk serious .
I'd be thinking of ways to save myself or desperately pray to God for help .
However , I recently found myself blanking out . Totally lost for words .
I opened my mouth but I cant speak , till I physically & forcefully spurt some words out of my mouth to reply some stupid questions or something .
FYI , Im a talkative person that can go babbling away forever .
Silent Zoee = ??
The first time was being totally touched by 2 friends of mine . Yanling and DOMO aka Yuwen .
They risked letting my temper blow just to help me from digging my own hole .
I was angry at the start , feeling why do they take me as an excuse if they didnt want to go shisha ?
Then , I realised , they are really my TRUE friends .
Despite drifting away from them , they desperately tried to help me . They cared and loved me .
What they did really touched me , truly , from the bottom of my heart .
I didnt know what to do , I had 2 sides . One that wanted to go shisha and totally sadden them to satisfy my desire . The other was to abandon shisha and ruin the fun plan .
Thank God for the Holy Spirit in me as the peace of God came upon me that moment .
I made the right choice and even know that so many people actually loves me .
Even my 2 closest darlings , Wanyi and Michelle are there worrying for me , desperately helping my from backstage . I can always count on them !
My sweetest beebee that constantly reminds me and be worried for me . And I love her .
Even Yaozhong , being concern , came all the way to talk to me .
The facebook comments I received when I took one simple step to try to kick my habits .
My lovely daddy and mummy also , they were so fearful they became authoritative .
All these love I get and all these self-centred-ness I've given in return .
Zoee must be less selfish and learn to think about the people around her !!
Anyway , that moment made me speechless due to me not knowing what to do .
Not even thinking of dumb solutions , uh-uh !
As for what happen today , I'm once again I was speechless .
It was like bringing my hopes so high up and smashing it into tiny pieces .
I felt terrible .
I totally wanted to give up , seriously felt like there was no point !
Then in God's presence , He showed me that when I just came to church , w406 never stopped caring for me . I made a hell lot of nuisance for them but they never gave up on me .
Weiren , Enyun , Yaozhong , Caspia , Ferlinda , Qiming , Wanyi and the rest never failed to show me support and continued to tolerate my nonsense .
Nevertheless , I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON MY FRIENDS !!!!!! Although for the following days I dunt think I can face them .
And sorry bee , I must have hurt you with my words .
I'll surrender myself to God .
Praise God for blessing me with wonderful friends in my life .
