Blessed .

the marionette's
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Hello . I'm ZoePerryDa'LoveChooDeeDeeShuyi ! :D
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I am who I am . I am a child of God but that doesn't make me perfect .
I made a heck load of mistakes in life , but I can stand up and learn from them and move on .
I cannot change what had happened , but I can change what will happen . ;)

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“ If God is for us , who can be against us . ”

the road to success Friday, April 25, 2008 / 1:32 PM

T_T

i dunno whad tu do.
i keep hab dat urge tu do those stupid things.
now im bcuming an idiot/retard.
i lag in everiting i do.

i was high, den i slowly wake up in reality finding myself toking tu yaozhong. =.=
dey all care abt mi but i let dem down.
i dint noe dey will do so much, yet.....
i noe if i die tings will get muchmuchmuch worse.
i oso noe dat God will make a way.
why do i do such stupid tings?? T_T

i rlli wan2 feel dat high, is rllirlli v nice.
i noe how i changed.
alcoholic, den i quit but took up smoking.
smoker, den i began tu feel dull & cutcutcut.
cutting & smoking, i stopped cutting cuz i felt better after going church.
cutter, i decided tu quit smoking den i took up glue.
boongum den drug addict....... whad's next is death. i noe.

yes, i noe i shud stop. but tu walk dat road is rlli v hard.
i noe im nt walking alone.
but, i dun even hab dat courage tu walk. it's a tough journey.
whad's more, i'll b walking wib an injured leg.
i hab fwen tu support mi on de wae, but im tuu nt determined tu walk.
why?
cuz im rlli happi wib de stupid tings im doing. i loved those feeling when im high.
im a coward, i dun dare tu face reality.
i noe if i die, whr im going is eternal.

i rlli wan2 change, but juz when im abt tu start, SO MANI THINGS dere pulled mi back.
i cnt even start.
i noe i cn crawl, start wib baby steps. i'd lyke dat tuu.
however, dere's nt enuf tyme.
im juz a few steps awae tu gals home if i continue.

if onli i cn take an aeroplane tu cross dat road.
but i noe, dere will b no planes, taxi or such. i muz walk.

after i heard whad yaozhong said, i felt, i muz rllirlli move on.
& nt continue tu slide back.
i looked at de road, it feels lyke walking up a nbr ending down escalator wib spikes & ppl dat will push mi down.

BUT, IF IM DETERMINED TU CLIMB UP, DERE'S B SUMTHING GOOD.
BUT, IF I JUZ STAE DERE, DE ESCALATOR WILL MOVE DOWNDOWNDOWN UNTIL ...............

now, it's all up tu mi.
why is making dat decision so tough, im thinking abt it until my head wan2 burst.
seriously BURST! :(

God my Saviour will help. ^^
i noe.